


What's He Like?

by itsonlyadream8



Category: Mass Effect
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-21
Updated: 2013-09-21
Packaged: 2017-12-27 05:31:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/974997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsonlyadream8/pseuds/itsonlyadream8
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(Takes place at the beginning of ME3) Shepard hasn't seen Thane in 6 months and fears the worst, but Liara is there for her friend- with a little help from EDI.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanific/work so be gentle, please? And some kind criticism would me most appreciated. Oh, and sorry for the very short chapters as well.

After shedding her armor Shepard headed down to Miranda’s old office. Joker had mentioned that Liara had made herself at home, but Shepard still couldn’t help the silent gasp she’d let escape when the doors slid open. Along one wall there were no less than 15 monitors in rows and columns, mounted on fixtures that swivel to move with you- in order to give you the best view of whatever solar system was displayed. The other wall was lined with crates and wiring with a little space for allowing a small desk to fit snuggly. “Greetings, Commander Shepard!” She was interrupted by a drone. The white one from the Shadow Broker’s lai- ship. It struck her that it didn’t address her as “Shadow Broker”, she had to remember to thank Liara.

She only half-listened until Liara silently approached. “I see you remodeled, Shadow Broker.” She didn’t try at all to hide her smile.

“I may have moved some things around. Changed a fixture here and there,” she smiled, with her always-kind eyes, “I’m glad you came, Shepard. I’ve wanted to speak to you. Escape my networks for a while.”

“You brought the drone, but Feron, didn’t tag along? I sorta miss having a drell on the ship.” She said with a smirk. Liara knew that she and Thane had been a couple. _Make the most of the time you have,_ she had said once, before everything went to hell, and for all Shepard knew, Thane had succumb to his illness, she hadn’t heard his voice in 6 months- and knowing she may never hear him call her Siha... She felt her eyes become watery and felt a warm tear roll down her cheek. Liara touched her shoulder, her eyebrows furrowed, her lips formed a frown- a rare sight on the asari.

Shepard wiped her eyes with the side of her hand and welcomed the hug Liara offered. She felt herself falling apart. “I’m sorry,” Liara said, immediately wishing she hadn’t, “-Just because you haven’t seen him does not mean he isn’t somewhere thinking of you right now.” She had tried to smile but couldn’t muster it. She’d never seen Shepard cry. In all the time she knew her, she would have never expected that she’d be the one holding her as she sobbed. Then again, Shepard never thought she’d let herself love anyone- fall for anyone- the way she did with Thane.

“EDI, if you don’t mind we would like for you to remain silent about this to the crew… if you could manage, We’d appreciate if no one came to my cabin. Glyph, we’d like our privacy.” She glanced towards to the door and saw the lock flicker to red, Glyph taking its place beside it.

“Yes, Dr.T’Soni. For what it is worth, as much peace as you’d like to take from the voice of an unshackled AI, I do not believe Sere Krios has passed, Commander. I see no record of his body… being given to the deep” Shepard looked up and nodded, even though she knew EDI couldn’t see it. She genuinely appreciated her.

“Thank you EDI.” She managed to breathe long enough to speak those words as sincerely as she could.

Liara led Shepard to her bed, making a stack of pillows for them to lean back on. “Shepard. He is out there. No matter how good he is at being himself- the noble assassin Thane Krios- he can’t hide from the Shadow Broker” she claimed, handing Shepard a box of tissues. She stopped crying and looked to Liara, the kindness and smile had returned to her blue features, and Liara saw that Shepard’s red-rimmed eyes were still painted with the deepest sorrow one could imagine suffering, but saw the tiniest bit of hope and happiness return as one last tear rolled down her cheek.

“Liara, I miss him. I knew I would. I let myself believe I wouldn’t break down like this if- when I lost him. Deep-down I couldn’t come to terms with it. I don’t know how asari do this short-lived spouse thing… Here I am, Commander Shepard- Hero to Humanity, crying over something I thought I’d never imagined I’d let myself have- something I _shouldn’t_ have let myself have “ she paused and looked to Liara, her voice faltering, “A person to fall for, to love…” She looked down.

“You are wrong,” Liara said it with dead certainty, she saw Shepard slightly shake her head, “Here and now, you are not Commander Shepard of the Normandy- Savior of the Citadel,” she lifted Shepard’s chin to meet her eyes, “You are human. A human woman who is in love, mourning a man who isn’t dead. Who she deserved to have- to love.” No matter how hard she tried Liara could not smile. Instead she hugged her, wiping a tear from her own eye behind Shepard’s back.


	2. Chapter 2

A long moment passed as they held each other, head on each other’s shoulders, Liara trying to remain stoic but kind, almost succeeding to find the confidence in her own words and platitudes as she tried her best to comfort Shepard. “What’s he like Shepard?” She asked pulling away from Shepard, trying to establish eye contact but only half achieving it as she saw her looking from her eyes to the lamp behind her head. “I can only learn so much from my contacts. I hear that he calls you ‘Siha’ from the crew. That his soulful, black eyes flutter when he talks about you. That he always ‘has your six’ in combat, guarding your every step. EDI mention you’d spend countless hours in Life Support. Everyone is happy for you, happy that you are happy- that you have found it, and confided in it- this man. Your love.”

She finally got her to look her in the eye, but was disappointed with Shepard, her friend. The joy was gone again, as quickly as it had appeared, replaced by doubt. “You’re talking as if he is still with us, Liara. I kn-“

“ _He is_ , Shepard!” She felt herself snap, her face turned a darker blue, and she let it happen. She lowered her voice, almost to a whisper, “He is still with us, thinking of his Siha. Here on solid ground, he isn’t across the sea yet, Shepard. Stop this. This isn’t the woman- my friend- who is in love. When we spoke of him last, your eyes lit up, and I swear I could see the galaxy in them. Where is that woman? Because the person in front of me is a shell of nothing but sadness and hopelessness. Please come back, Shepard,” she paused briefly considering her next words but only managing one, “Please?” She took Shepard’s hands into hers, repeated herself in a softer- almost motherly tone, “What’s he like, Shepard?”

***

Shepard withdrew her hands and leaned back on the pillows, reaching out a single silent hand to pat the bed beside her, barely disturbing the sheets. Liara picked up on it and leaned back beside her. Both of them stared up onto the ceiling. After a few long minutes Shepard spoke up. “Liara?” she said, genuine curiosity in her voice, “Are those glow-in-the-dark space stickers up there?” she looked over to see Liara turn a blue 4 shades darker than usual.

“Yes, Shepard...” She paused and began to wonder if she should continue, “25 of them. One for each month you were not with me, not in flesh and blood and standing before me. 25. For the months I had to go on mourning you and Feron, both of my only true friends in the galaxy. And the moon is for my mother, a soul from my life who’s passed.” She turned to Shepard, scanning her face for any emotion, finding none.

“Why not take them down? I am here- flesh, blood… cybernetics,” She held her hand above her face examining it, “and Feron was with you.”

Liara placed her hand atop Shepard’s and gently pushed it back down to rest on Shepard’s stomach, “They are a reminder, Shepard, that when I wake up from a guilt-ridden nightmare, I can look up and see that it was just a dream. A reminder that this reality is the best- that no dream, even the sweetest could overpower the joy I feel every day when I wake up, and see those 25 stars, knowing that I don’t have to add another moon.” She readjusts her head and lets out a sigh, “Shepard, this is the last time I ask before I kick you out and release you onto your rodent and overpriced fish. What is he like?”

“Over-priced?” She glanced at Liara, genuinely offended.

“Shepard.” Liara responded with a teasing and slightly annoyed toned, “I will unlock that door and have Glyph escort you out.”

“What’s he like…” Shepard repeated, much more in the way of a statement than a question.


	3. Chapter 3

“He is…” She stopped, lost in her thoughts, but Liara waited patiently. “I don’t know where to begin… He’s… perfect,” She closed her eyes and took a deep, satisfying breath. She began to smile, “He- his eyes were-are… enchanting. I could almost never find his irises. They’re dark, like obsidian pools of wonder and thought- but I could never figure out what those thoughts were. He’d look at me sometimes and I could feel my spine turned to jelly. He would raise an eyebrow ridge at me in the middle of a firefight ‘ _Wonderful shot, Siha_ ’ he’d say, as if there weren’t bullets whizzing past his head. I’d falter until a bullet took down my shields, and he was there in an instant holding my shoulder with a look of panic on his face. I’d always smile if I was okay and he’d nod and stack up another headshot, I never looked but I always assumed it was the baddie who’d shot me.”

Liara interrupted quietly, “I could never translate ‘ _Siha_ ’. What does it mean?” She is a terrible liar and she knew it, but Shepard was neck deep in daydreaming and could care less.

“Siha… ‘ _Many are privileged to meet one in their lifetime’_ I tried my best to hide the smile you know- I didn’t know if he cared for me the way I cared for him. He was looking at me, hands folded under his chin, but he mirrored me, giving me the slightest smile. ‘ _A warrior angel of the goddess Arashu_ ’ he’d stated ‘ _Tenacious in wrath. A fierce protector_.’ He reached across the small table and took my hands…” She was smiling wide now, her heart fluttering, “ _’I confess, I have come to care for you. Perhaps I am being foolish, we are very different_.’ I wondered if he’d seen my breath catch, my face turn pink, or felt my hands begin to shake, ‘ _I look forward to the memories_ ’ he said with a smile’” She turned towards Liara, Liara looking back “Perhaps I was the one being foolish?” She paused briefly- not giving Liara the time to respond, she had wanted to take the words back, “I don’t suppose I’ve told you about Irikah? Or Kolyat? Or ‘solipsism’? You should have seen us trying to hold hands…” she faintly smiled.

***

Shepard continued to recall her time with Thane and named reason after reason as to why he was perfect. Half an hour had gone by in a blur of words and smiles. “He was so old-fashioned in the way he carried himself, and the way he spoke- never disrespectful. He never lost his cool. ‘The way he spoke’, “she repeated, “- his voice. Like velvet. I loved being able to hug him and feel his chest rumble as he spoke. I miss being able to hold him, now.” She furrowed her brow at the ceiling, “I made the most of the time we had together, like you told me to, but it never felt like enough.”

“Good thing you still have some left then.” Liara looked at her with a knowing smile. Shepard looked at her and after a moment smiled back.

“Then… the night before the Omega 4 Relay- the suicide mission we thought we weren’t going to come back from. Any of us. He came up to my cabin. I was- I should stop now. I’ve wasted enough of your ti-“

“No.” Liara said it in a calm but assertive way, “I know where this is going, Shepard. I have a feeling you were going to tell me what he looks like without his leather clothes on. Shepard? I’ve yet to see a nude drell. Enlighten me.” She finished with a smirk and rare ‘ _I’ll listen even if it gets awkward’_ eyes.

***

 _Shepard tried her best not to guffaw at the thought. Telling her best friend what her lover looks like naked. Something she never thought would happen. But today has been full of impossibles. Hell, Shepard as a senient being is impossible, she died two and a half years ago. She was spaced, but she made sure her friends were safe. She made sure the eject button on Joker’s life pod was pressed, just in time for an explosion to knock her unconscious and severe her breathing tube. She was alone in the void. Suffocating. Clawing desperately at the tube, in vain. But her friends and some crewmates- who’s names she didn’t know, at least not until she returned to her gravesite and recovered their lost dog tags- were safe. She can’t say she died peacefully but she died with peace of mind. Now, living, she didn’t have the peace of mind that she had as her life flashed before her eyes in her final moments. The only person she couldn’t keep safe in_ this _life was the person she cared the most for._

***

“Shepard!” She heard Liara’s voice and wondered how long she’d been sitting there, practically drooling. “I think most of what you were thinking was supposed to be spoken, Shepard.”

“Ah, yes. The sight of a nude drell- are you sure y-“

“Yes, Shepard.” She paused to ensure her friendly certainty, “I will listen to what you have to say. No matter how… intimate.” Shepard imagined Liara cringing on the inside.

“If you say so…” She sat back down folding a leg under her and letting the other hang off the bed, “He came into my cabin so distraught. I stood up to meet him- hold him. He was looking into my eyes and I felt my knees go weak, I reached up my hand to touch his cheek… but he grabbed it, let it go, and turned away. He slammed his fist down on the table, making the datapads rattle. He told me that he’d tried to leave the world a better place than he’d found it, that he was grateful to have spoken to his son, and he’d prayed and meditated but,” She paused briefly and the corners of her mouth turned downward and her brow furrowed, “He said… he said that when he thought of his death a cold feeling settled in his stomach. I wanted to comfort him- tell him it would be all right…” She looked down and a tear welled-up into her eye and slowly slid down her face, “But I couldn’t lie to him. I couldn’t be untruthful to my love, the man slowly dying in front of me. I always felt it was my fault. That if I had never had feelings for him, if we’d never spoken, that he wouldn’t have to abandon another Siha,” Liara leaned up to touch her shoulder.

“It was never your fault. Anyone can lie to themselves. Tell themselves that they are ready for death before it comes. But when it comes… the impact… is too much.” Shepard nodded, picking out another tissue- the last- and chuckled to herself _. How had she gone through an entire box of tissues?_

“He’d looked back to me and he was.... crying. The glossy reflection in his eyes- it’s like I was staring into space, I still couldn’t count the stars- read his thoughts.” She looked back up, sniffling, “I ran my hands along the outside of his cheek and he closed his eyes. Peace crept its way across his features,” She audibly laughed, “Do you know what I said next Liara?”

“Embrace eternity?” They both laughed and exchanged warm smiles.

She mocked herself “ _’Thane, be alive with me tonight’_ … I reminded him that he was dying. That if he were to be alive any other day, he should compare it to this one. I felt ashamed, but before I looked away, he took my face into his hands… he kissed me.” She felt herself blush and didn’t realize how long she had paused.

“Continue.” Liara ensured she was listening not caring how embarrassing it might seem later on, if- when she sees him again.

“I slid my hands under his jacket and put my cheek up to his chest, holding him. I didn’t want let go. I heard him breathing. There was a wheeze and catch at the end of each inhale. I hugged him a little harder. I felt his hands in the small of my back and the back of my neck.” She thought for a moment, “Hands he’d used to snap numerous necks… to end lives- humans, asari, turian, maybe even a krogan or two, were now gently caressing me, telling me that no matter what- he’d be there to catch me should I ever slip... Here is where it’s starts to get sketchy Lia-“ She looked over at her friend’s face. Annoyance had suddenly come over Liara’s features. “…Liara. Fair warning.”


	4. Chapter 4

“I slid his jacket off and it fell to the floor he never looked away from me- never let me forget that he was there for me, no matter what came of that night- good or bad. The shirt underneath was sleeveless… His arms, Liara. The way his scales shimmered blue in the light of the fish tank- I knew I kept the blue lights for a reason,” She said smiling, “ _His scales_ … -not something I’d thought I’d compliment a guy for- much less a guy that I'd slept with,” She flashed a quick smile at Liara before continuing, “The dark green spots and dots from his face continued down his arms. They almost looked like old-fashioned tribal tattoos. He had to assist me in the removal of his vest, there was so many buckles. I had to assist him in unzipping that dress Kasumi got me- uh… He had so many spots on his stomach. He had the perfect body. The human body, honed into something… unbelievably spectacular.” She let out a sigh and continued. “He had ridges along his spine I was especially fond of. And that throat drell are known for… The noise he made when I touched it was so extremely… hot. I felt it vibrate in his chest.”

“His pants though, I wondered if he could see my weariness. I slid them off around his ankles and I noticed that the two toes beside his pinky-toe were joined- like his fingers, I admit that I did smile a bit. He… unfastened my bra and was… mesmerized by the two fleshy things on my chest… aand he touched them,” She glanced down then at her friend, “Liara I am becoming sort of uncomfortable.”

“Shepard... By the Goddess…” Liara replied in a monotone voice, she was lying on her side, propping her head up with her hand.

She shot Liara a weary look “… He said that I was not _‘as_ firm _or_ flat-chested _as drell women’._ I assumed that meant I was too squishy to pass as a drell. I let my hair down and he held it in his hand ‘ _Interesting_ ’ he’d said,” She saw Liara smile, “He put his mouth up to my neck and kissed my shoulder. I nestled my face into his throat and he pulled back smiling his beautiful and rare smile ‘ _Ticklish, are we_?’ I said, giggling- _giggling_ ,” She stopped and sighed _,_ “He looked at me and raised an eye ridge. ‘ _Siha, are you comfortable with me_?’ He’d asked. ‘ _Of course, love_ ’ I said back and felt him smile into my neck,” Shepard glanced down- lost in thought for a moment, “I… I removed my… underwear, and he just stood there soaking me in- studying… memorizing. He removed his underwear…” She looked Liara in the eyes, “It was blue Liara. Blueish-green, like… teal. It looked like a human’s but it had extra bumps and ridges… it was… sufficient” She heard Liara choke on her tea.

“Mordin had warned me about the ‘hallucinogens’ in drell saliva- he called it something like a ‘complex liaison’. I think they were starting to take hold- I started to see stars on the back of my eyelids and my tongue felt tingly. He laid me on the bed and…" she finished with a broad smile, “You can continue that story in your head if you’d like, Liara.”

“Well, did you find it enjoyable?” Liara sat down her tea for the response.

“Liara!” Shepard looked away and timidly continued, “Yes. Very.” She said with a hint of selfish shame. One of the small lights on Liara’s many monitors began to blink and chime. Liara looked at Shepard, _This one’s important_ , she imagined her say, and Liara slowly got up off of the bed and strode over to the monitor- a slight look of annoyance in the corners of her mouth. “What is it? _If_ you can tell me.”

“It is marked as urgent- which usually means vital or current, but there is nothing here that is relevant to me. It is from a volus contact on the Citadel- a banker. It says that a drell man named Tannor Nuara has purchased an apartment on the Citadel,” she looked puzzled, “ _4 months ago_? It doesn’t say much more. I don’t-” She remained glued to the monitor, typing away.

“I’ll be going now, Liara.” She stood up, a little dizzy, from the bed and began walking towards the door- slowly, as her foot had fallen asleep. Liara rotated around to meet her and touched her shoulder.

“If you wish to leave I will not stop you this time,” She gave her a small hug as her monitor pinged again, “but don’t be a stranger. Come speak to me whenever you’d like, I’ll always be here- and Shepard?” She spoke with her kind eyes and gentle smile, “I’m glad you came.”

“Thank you Liara.”

“For what?”

“For being here. For being my friend and listening. For letting me be human…” She looked towards the door then back to Liara, “And for tinkering with the settings on that drone.” She gave a light hearted chuckle and noticed Liara do the same.

They heard the door unlock, “Commander, I apologize for… listening in, but Jeff insisted that I check on you. I hesitated. Dr. T’Soni, my records indicate that Tannor Nuara is a ‘model citizen’. He makes timely payments and files his taxes yearly. He has a young son, as well. There is nothing substantially out of the ordinary. My records do indicate that Mr. Nuara frequently visits Huerta Memorial- the Citadel’s hospital, and that he is one of only one-hundered and sixteen drell currently residing on the Citadel, not including his son.” Shepard was a bit irritated by the evesdropping, but it was not EDI’s fault and she felt that EDI was… sympathetic, or the synthetic equivalent, and she half-appreciated Joker’s thoughts as well.

“Thank you EDI. I’ll be visiting your mobile platform.”

“As you wish, Commander,” There was a pause as she was leaving, “Commander?” another thoughtful pause, “He sounds wonderful.” EDI said, with what Shepard imagined was a smile, even though she had just given herself away. Shepard waved goodbye to Liara and left hesitantly, mouthing a silent ‘ _Thank you’_.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed. Thanks for reading :)


End file.
